It Takes a Leader – #FinishStrong

Leading Through Breast Cancer

“All managers know that they need to help their employees through challenging times. But almost no manager is prepared for when one of their direct reports announces that he or she has cancer.” –  Anne Sugar

by Jim Solomon

Are you prepared to lead your team through breast cancer?  This is the question that I posed to leaders of various industries at a variety of levels from private, public, government, and non-profit sectors as I studied this challenging aspect of leadership. Responses came from a variety of women and men who addressed this from a broad range of perspectives. A big “thanks” to all who provided insight – these included supervisors, division chiefs, corporate executives, small business owners, educators, human resource professionals, technicians, national sales executives, healthcare providers, and trades workers.

The responses were amazing, thoughtful, and had common themes.  Some had not personally faced this situation, so conferred with friends or colleagues who had; others shared direct experiences, while some were currently in their breast cancer battle.

If you’ve not faced it yet, possibilities are that you or someone that you work with will be informed by a direct report that they have been diagnosed with breast cancer. According to the National Breast Cancer Foundation, 1 in 8 women will develop invasive breast cancer in her lifetime; more than 50% will be diagnosed during their prime working years.

Leaders must be agile, adaptable, and resilient. These are some of the same qualities needed by those diagnosed with a disabling disease, requiring lengthy treatment, such as breast cancer.  This diagnosis changes the lives of not only the patient, but her family, and her work family.

I’ve found extremely empathetic leaders who provided encouragement and support to the employee and her family, while educating and engaging her team so that this wasn’t about the individual, but rather the team.  I’ve also found examples where employees were shunned, avoided, or made it so uncomfortable in the workplace that the employee simply gave up and quit.

How will you lead? How will you engage with and support this individual? How will you lead your team through this period making it as positive as possible for all?

With October designated as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this is a perfect leadership topic to address for yourself, your team, and those you mentor. They don’t teach how to address this challenge in MBA or leader development programs, so here are some thoughts.

Put Through the P.A.C.E.S.

When someone is “put through the paces”, they are being tested or examined to determine their status and to identify gaps. Similarly, when a leader is faced with an employee informing them of her breast cancer diagnosis, they need to put themselves “through the P.A.C.E.S.” to ensure they are doing everything for this direct report, their team, the organization, while not forgetting their mission.

Privacy – Most important when initially informed of the employee’s situation and throughout her journey is privacy. It was tough enough to come forward to share her diagnosis. Your trust at this point, is critical to her as she engages in her own melting pot of emotions.  Follow the lead of your employee.  If she chooses to share it with the team, then know that it is ok to reach out to show your support.  If she doesn’t share, then respect her privacy.

Help your employee to take the lead in making these decisions. As a leader, facilitate this discussion, don’t direct it.  Remember that this challenge is the employees. Don’t take control of the situation.  In a time when she has no control over so many things, this can be her time to take charge, with your assistance when asked.

Whatever decision is made about notification, it must never be violated.  Your team will expect and honor your trust with her. Besides HIPPA laws, this bond and trust will be important moving forward to retain your relationship with her and your team.

Adapt – Help her to develop a Plan A and Plan B so she can gain comfort about the role she will play moving forward, to assist the team to understand how gaps will be filled, and for customers, if the employee is a key interface. The important word here is “help” vs do.

Be prepared for the need to develop a Plan C and Plan D.  There will be too many unknowns at the beginning to have everything covered in initial planning, and things are bound to change along the way.

Consider any special accommodations such as a liberal telework policy to meet the needs of the employee, family, and the organization.  Allow her to retain “work purpose” while allowing time for “life purpose”.  Determine which if any deliverables should be shifted, and who are the backups for designated key tasks. Identify tasks that can be aligned to this employee that were not included in her scope of duties previously that will benefit the team, while supporting her self-worth.

Care – One way of caring is to be an advocate.  With so many new things coming about quickly, an advocate who can help think through it all may be welcomed. A caring gesture is to offer to walk with her to your organization’s Human Resources to learn of her obligations and to explore the organizations offers of assistance.

Saying the words that she matters to your organization will resonate for a long time. Tell her that you welcome her continued contributions, but her main job is to heal because you want and need her for the long term.

Caring includes giving her space but keeping her informed and including her in as many things as possible.  Include her family and caregiver in your caring.

Empathy – Emotions may be running rampant for this person with questions about her survivability, concerns for family, financial obligations, fear of the medical treatments, and the unknown.  Contributing to her realistic yet positive attitude will be helpful for her and your team.

To best understand, consider taking time for your education about breast cancer. As appropriate, this can be shared with the team.

Don’t use the approach “I understand what you are going through”, because you don’t. Even if a survivor, remember that no two cases of cancer are the same and everyone reacts to treatment differently. Acknowledging that you can’t imagine how she is feeling but will try to understand is a far better tactic.

Dignity and self-respect, with a desire to remain a part of the team are important to her. She wants to be held accountable, but in a manner commensurate with her ability to perform her job.

Support – Support may look very different for each person dealing with an illness such as breast cancer. As the leader, let her team decide what and how they want to provide support. You can assist with guidance, if needed. Participate as a member of the team, and then do your part as her boss.

It’s important that she see you often to underscore that you and your leadership care about her.  Your short visits to just show your presence can be a bright spot in her constant stress.  Even the most rock solid and organized people, during this disruptive time, may be overwhelmed with emotional and medical concerns spinning through their minds.

Continuous support is essential, breast cancer is not a sprint.  Weeks or months into her journey is when a kind text, email, or note will be most welcomed.

Don’t Forget the Spouse/Caregiver

Breast Cancer not only impacts the one diagnosed, but it also impacts her family. And “family” may often look different than what it looks like to us.  Remember to reach out to those closely engaged in the care of others.

It was interesting to learn about the impact of spouse and family support from my personal situation, when my 36-year-old daughter, a highly successful educator, was diagnosed at the onset of the COVID pandemic.  Her husband’s employer reacted amazingly!  Senior leaders, his boss, and his direct reports immediately wrapped their arms around the family to provide support.  They compassionately allowed him a liberal work from home policy.  They held him accountable and didn’t let down or move him from his division chief position.  They knew that he needed to retain his “work purpose” while allowing him time for his “life purpose” as care giver, dad/mom to their two young sons, and to take care of himself.  They focused on resiliency and engaged his team to rally around his situation.  Knowing that this would not be short term, they planned, adapted, and moved forward, with consideration for him, while continuing to focus on their mission. Regular inquiries about him, his wife, and family, while giving him space, provided a sense of caring throughout their journey.

Leaders must truly know their teammates to best guide them and the entire team to achieve success. If this approach is practiced routinely, when confronted with the news of a spouse diagnosed with breast cancer, they can quickly address the situation from all fronts.

Just as we learn and grow by studying successful leaders, we can benefit by learning from breast cancer survivors. These women have displayed the qualities of courage, determination, adaptability, agility, focus, grit, resiliency, and never quit even under the most grueling conditions.  Hmmm…. seems like the qualities of those you would want on your team!

Leadership lessons from survivors are powerful and plentiful. Here are a few shared by one during her journey.

Jules Quinn is a wife, mom, daughter, sister, Educator, Cancer Survivor (battled cancer during COVID 2020 – 2021), STEM Teacher of the Year 2021 – Langley Chapter Air Force Association, and Civil Air Patrol Virginia Wing- Aerospace Education Teacher of the Year 2021. The wisdom she shares from her experience are lessons that can benefit even the most seasoned leader.

As the COVID pandemic hit the world in 2020, this educator was slammed with the diagnosis of stage-3 breast cancer.  For this healthy, active 36-year-old, with no personal or family history, her life would change drastically over the next 18 months with surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. As her warrior spirit sparked, her drive and determination would become even greater as she fought cancer with her charge “#FinishStrong”!

Seeing Through the Lens of Others

As a leader, we must take time to “see” through the lens of others to understand things from other’s perspective or vantage point. Does the CEO see things the same as the warehouse loading dock supervisor? Do we see things from our customers perspective? Taking the time to view things as others may perceive them, only benefits a leader’s ability to provide for best solutions.

“Nothing prepares you for life after cancer. Before the battle you are scared out of your mind about what’s to come, during the battle your cares go out the window and you will do anything and everything to beat it, and then once you get the “all clear for now message”, you bask in the celebration of just being alive and being momentarily victorious.  Then weeks or months later when the adrenaline wears off, you wake up each morning and look into the mirror and see a stranger looking back. 

But then I have these moments of clarity like today – my loved ones still see me exactly the same, if not with more pride and admiration. They don’t care what I look like or how I’ve changed. They love me just the way I am and always will. They love that I’m out riding bikes, hiking, chasing them on the playground, collecting shells, and spending time with them. I am so thankful for these special people in my life.  They are mine and I’m so very lucky to have them.”

When Life Throws a Curve Ball, Swing for the Fence!

Two options for leaders when faced with adversity – go under or take it on as a challenge with determination and grit.  It is resiliency that allows one to rebound from hardship and to have an optimistic approach when facing the next challenge.

A leader must have the ability to recover rapidly, turning each setback or impediment to an opportunity while gaining momentum moving forward.

“When life throws you a curve ball, swing for the fence!!  Never give up, never curl up in defeat.  I wanted them (students) to see that I truly care about them and their education, and that not even cancer could ever keep me from my love of teaching.  It’s what motivated me to get up every day to continue teaching – kids are our future. And I wasn’t going to let this evil cancer change any of that.”

Inner Strength for Outward Gains

Often, during chaos or battling work’s daily “wak-a-mole” challenges, we find ourselves tiring to the point of burn-out. Maybe we fail to pay attention to detail as we had in the past. Possibly, we begin to simply go through the motions, becoming negative, forgetting about others on the team, and failing to put your all into your work as you once had done.

Developing a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is a leader’s first step to building resiliency.   A PMA approach does not mean being unrealistic or painting a rosy picture on everything. Rather, by taking an approach to focus on good things, addressing challenges and obstacles as opportunities; practicing gratitude; self-awareness by identifying areas of negativity in their own life; and beginning each day on a positive note, sets the stage for the leader and their organization.

“Through this horrible disease, I gained strength that I had not had in the past; I got strength and peace of mind through my positive attitude and having my support team with me on my journey.”

Gratitude is an Attitude

During challenging times, we may be too focused on outcomes and not on what is truly important. Do you take time to reflect regularly? How is gratitude woven into your leadership philosophy and practice? Have you created a culture of gratitude within your organization? As the leader, are you keeping people in the forefront?

“Take time to reflect on those who you are most thankful for. Life is busy and sometimes we lose sight of what really matters in this world. Take a second to reflect on those who mean so much to you in life and let them know. Even in our darkest times, we all have something to be thankful for. It’s crucial to focus on the positive aspects of life and to work hard every day to nurture those things to allow them to grow and blossom. Don’t let negativity take over and drag you down. We are all important and we all have a purpose in this world even if that isn’t very clear at this exact moment.”

Ring the Bell

Do you celebrate successes with your team? Too often we fail to take the time to celebrate accomplishments. Recognizing accomplishments of your team, even small ones, is a way to honor the achievement, while also acknowledging individuals and the team as a whole. Reward and recognition are jobs of a leader.

“After many months of chemo, I’m done! I rang the bell today, which looked just like the only other bell I’ve rung in my life. In CrossFit when you hit a major personal record, you get to ring the bell. While cancer and CrossFit are so different, in both cases you have to push your body and mind to do things that you weren’t sure were possible. You have to go to a place you never thought you could, and you can’t give up, not even on the hardest days. Worked so hard to do everything in my power (body, mind, and spirit) to never miss a treatment due to lab work. One chapter down and now we will celebrate the much-needed break until the next phase of treatment. “

Taking care of people is what leadership is all about. Those entrusted with this responsibility must be prepared to confront challenges to achieve optimum outcomes – for each teammate, the team, and your organization. As a leader, routinely, take yourself through the “P.A.C.E.S.” to be prepared.

If you haven’t had an employee diagnosed with breast cancer yet, there is a high probability that you will be challenged with this situation along your leadership journey. This is a timely self-development, team development, and mentoring topic. Consider how you can bring greater awareness to breast cancer – it may be a good unifying endeavor for your team.

www.chambersbayinstitute.com ● leadership@chambersbayinstitute.com